


Messy

by JustSomeMusings



Series: Brother Where For Art Thou [2]
Category: Skyfall (2012) - Fandom
Genre: Bond has feelings, Brothers series, M/M, Mild Cursing, So he gets his own slice of the story
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-31
Updated: 2012-12-31
Packaged: 2017-11-23 02:19:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,938
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/616996
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JustSomeMusings/pseuds/JustSomeMusings
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>James doesn't want to fight, so he avoids Q. Moneypenny thinks he's an idiot and says as much. </p>
<p>Can stand alone for the most part, but would probably be more clear with part one.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Messy

**Author's Note:**

> Unedited. Sorry about that!

Confrontation should be something of a strong suit for Bond, but it’s not really because confrontation in the field and in his personal life are two different animals. Altercations in the field can be dealt with, with force. Bond wins those fights and moves on. Or he looses those fights, comes back, wins those fights, and then moves on. Either way it’s not affecting him too much, so long as he gets the job done. Personal altercations are just that, personal. It takes one card to collapse a house of cards and so does it follow that it can take one fight to ruin an entire relationship. 

James is not willing to risk what he and Q have because he’s annoyed that Q didn’t tell him about his brother. It’s not that big of a deal anyway. He hasn’t told Q everything…well some of everything. Come to think of it Q knows a great deal about James. He knows about his childhood, he knows about Skyfall, he knows how M found him, he basically knows Bond’s whole history, and James’s isn’t even sure he knows much of Q’s history. 

He still doesn’t know the man’s real name. For God’s sake he even had his parents calling him Q (how he got them to do that is something James will never know, which should not be as irritating as it is), so that James couldn’t learn his real name. He knows scraps and pieces about Q. Never the whole story. This might be a bigger problem than James anticipated. They’ve worked together for three years and have been together for seven months. They live together (they’ve been living together longer than they’ve actually been together because James started appearing in Q’s flat after his missions roughly a year ago). It leaves James wondering how in the world they got this far if he knows next to nothing about the man. 

He’s gotten himself into a relationship with someone who has more trust issues than him.

He still doesn’t want to fight though and knowing the two of them that’s what this will turn into. It will start out in innuendo, then Bond will come out and say it, then Q will say something snarky, which Bond will take seriously, and something he doesn’t mean, as the defensive always do, and they will fight. He can picture it all in his head. He can see how it will happen and he doesn’t want that. Not a single part of it. It could be that one fight that ends it all. He could lose Q. 

He can’t lose Q. 

Q maneuvered his way into Bond’s life and he won’t be leaving it so easily. He’s under no delusions. Q could leave if he wanted too. He could leave and make it so no one could ever find him. James is well aware of this, but it doesn’t mean that James wouldn’t spend the rest of his life looking for Q and trying to bring him home. Home to their flat the one that they choose together. The one with the ugly red, blue, and crème half modern, half patterned throw rug in the living room, with its storage jars filled with different teas and coffees on the kitchen counters, the wall to wall library that was supposed to be a study, and their messy bed covered in pillows and blankets. Their flat has random mugs and glasses all over, pieces of tech and guns, books, movies…really it’s a mess. It should be declared a disaster area, but its home because they made it their home. 

It’s not home if Q isn’t there. 

So because he’s avoiding the fight, and consequently the problem, James is only slightly avoiding Q. By slightly avoiding he means he is avoiding Q. He’s spending less time in Q branch and bringing Q tea, his normal an excuse to see Q. He’s getting home later, so that they spend less time together before retiring for the night. James’s is going to his allotted physical therapy and psych sessions instead of crashing on the couch in Q’s office. He even does paperwork (which he normally avoids at all costs much to Moneypenny’s annoyance). He’s basically using every avoidance technique he’s ever learned while in Her Majesty’s service. 

He’s reversed all his usual behaviors, which is why he shouldn’t be surprised when he shows up for work and finds Moneypenny standing in front of the MI6 entrance waiting for him. She’s glaring at him. That’s never a good thing. It’s typically an extremely bad thing. It normally means more paperwork, but in this case Bond’s thinking this is going to be more of a tongue lashing. Probably about Q because Eve and Q are friends, which is a decidedly terrible thing because Bond is sure that the two of them could take over the world if they truly wanted too. Then they might all have to do paperwork and wear cardigans. The horror! 

“You’re a bloody idiot,” are the first words to leave Moneypenny’s mouth, so Bond was most definitely right. This is going to be a Q chat. 

“And hello to you too Miss Moneypenny! Aren’t you looking radiant this morning?” 

“Shut it, Bond.” 

“Why yes! It is a lovely morning,” Moneypenny’s scowl deepens in response to Bond’s words, but his smirk only widens. 

“Right. Now that we’ve established just how much an arse you are we can get to the topic at hand. The topic being your relationship, which is are royally fucking up because you refuse to talk about things that affect you,” James heaves a sigh at her words. He’s not an idiot. He knows that Q is upset because he’s avoiding him, but he can’t exactly stop because he doesn’t want to confront him. It’s stupid really. He’s a double-oh agent scared of getting into a fight with his Quartermaster boyfriend. It’s ridiculous. He’s supposed to have more courage than this. Then again he’s also not supposed to care this much about another person. He sighs again. 

“…I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to fight with him,” James almost can’t believe those words just came out of his mouth (Eve’s eyes widen in surprise at the statements, so it’s a safe bet she’d never thought she’d hear those words in her life). He’s not sure where the confession comes from, but he can admit to himself that it’s a relief to have them said. He doesn’t know what to do. He doesn’t want to fight with Q. 

He doesn’t want anyone to get hurt. 

“You talk to him James,” her voices and eyes softens when she says it. She’s wants them happy. She’s wants James happy, “Tell him what’s going on James. I know you don’t do feelings, but he needs to know why you’re avoiding him. He has to know how you feel. You can’t avoid him forever James.” 

She says it like it’s not one of the most bloody difficult things in the world to do. James may have told Q his history, but there’s little emotion in that for him. Those are facts. This happened and this happened and it all lead to him being here now. How he feels is something he never really discusses. Double-oh’s can’t have feelings. Feelings get bottled up and pushed aside. Feelings get you killed. It’s the understatement of the year to say that Bond is no good when it comes to emotions, thus the avoidance of talking about them. He’d screw it up and then they’d fight. 

Eve is right though, he can’t avoid Q forever. He’s known that all along on some level, but he wasn’t ready to own up on it. He’s going to be absolute rubbish at trying to talk about all this, but he’s going to have too. He has to talk to Q. He takes a deep breath, nods a thanks to Eve, and goes to walk past her, but she catches his shoulder and gives it a squeeze before he walks by and gives off one last piece of advice, 

“Not all talks end in confrontations James.” 

She smiles, pats him on the shoulder, and then saunters off down the street (presumably to her favorite coffee shop for a cup because Bond is a piece of work). Bond watches her disappear around the corner before he manages to come back to himself and actually enter MI6. The walk down to Q branch is dreadful…mainly because he’s filled with dread. This conversation probably shouldn’t happen at work, but if he doesn’t do it now, then he might start avoiding later. This is going to be horrendous. He stares at Q’s door, Q’s minions stare at him staring at Q’s door, and there is an awful lot of staring going on and no action. Bond has always been more an action kind of guy, so he may open Q’s door with a tad more aggression than is necessary. 

He is Bond, James Bond. Agent 007. And he can have a talk with his boyfriend about feelings. 

“Collin,” Q mumbles out the second the door closes behind him and James blinks at him, “My name. It’s Collin Dixon.”

It takes all of thirty seconds for Bond to process that thought. It takes another ten for him to cross the room, pull Q to him, and begin the process of kissing his Quartermaster turned boyfriend into incoherent-ness. It apparently doesn’t work because when they break apart Q is panting for air, but he still manages to say, “I’m sorry. I’m sorry I haven’t told you. I’m sorry I made a fuss about not telling you. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about Arthur. I just-”

Bond cuts him off with a gentle nip to his bottom lip before pressing four kisses to his lips. Four kisses for four apologies. 

“I’m sorry too,” he whispers against Q’s lips. His forehead rests against Q’s, he has one hand twisted in the navy blue fabric at the small of Q’s back, while the other strokes underneath his bottom lip, “I’m sorry I’ve been avoiding you. I’m sorry I was too worried about fighting with you to actually talk to you. I’m sorry I made a mess of things. I’m sorry that-”

Q cuts him off with five kisses that have him burying a hand in the hair at James’s nape and wrapping an arm over James’s shoulder to tangle his fingers in the cloth of James’s dark gray Tom Ford suit. 

“I’m not good at talking about my life,” Q whispers back. 

“I’m not good at talking about emotions. I’d say we’re on an even playing field,” Q kisses him again. It’s a good enough response for James. The situation isn’t completely fix (James thinks that might take a good long while to sort out. He and Q are quite complicated). They may not have everything figured out, but they know what’s going on. They know where the other is at. They’re going to have to work on it. Q is going to have learn how to talk about his past and his family. Bond is going to have learn how to speak about feelings. It’s going to be messy. Both of them are going to screw it up multiple times before they ever get it right. They won’t be any good at it. They’re most likely going to be bloody awful about it, but it’ll be ok because it’s them. 

Bond and Q wouldn’t be Bond and Q if they didn’t leave a mess behind wherever they went.


End file.
